Of course all the girls at work are very nice and kind girls, which mean they are all single.
I read the book (wish I hadn’t), looked around and did my usual research on the topic because as you know I don’t know anything, and found many many lists, blogs and sites listing the rules of dating for men and for women, do this, don’t do that, mind that, don’t say this; it’s exhausting how many things we have to watch, mind, do and not do or do in moderation or in secret etc…
What I came to realise in fact is that the rules of dating are usually universal as they typically and conventionally concern men and women (as opposed to same sex dating).
I found the book very relevant to me but wondered if it would make sense to other Algerian girls out there, when it comes to the affairs of the heart and dating which we discussed ad nauseam, do the rules of dating really apply to all?
So I thought what best than to compile a list of dating rules or the Dos and Donts if you‘re an Alien a man, but before I bestow the list upon you, let’s talk…shall we?
We need to draw up a Dating policy, whereby we explain that the successful girl, the catch, the stunning girl, the powerful girl, the dream girl...well she’s just a girl; she’s not a diva, primadonna, high maintenance, a bitch, on a husband hunt or whatever you think she is. All she is after is to be treated with respect and dignity and not be subjected to mind games and deluded theories of grandeur.
Ok we know you are a bit dim when it comes to relationships, you haven’t got a clue what you want or what to do, so dear kind and slightly ticked off Dz-Chick has a few pointers for you, so pay attention
- Well first of all, I suggest you check the girl hasn’t got any colossal brothers who can come and break you in half before starting to mess her about
- Do not approach if you have no intention to stick around
- If you ask her out on a date, make sure it’s clear, don’t be ambiguous and misleading, calling it coffee, catch-up or whatever other poor excuse you found
- Be specific about time, date and place, being assertive won’t kill you
- Do not play mind games and apply silly dating rules like calling after 3 days, texting an hour later, have some back bone man!
- If it doesn’t fit, be blunt and just say it, she won’t die from it but you better not boomerang. And NO you may not break up with her by text, a facebook message or a voicemail. Have some guts na3dine!
- If your intentions are more “physically” inclined, then we know you’re going to lie through your teeth and paint a nice picture for her, just don’t over do it you mythomane!
- Do not take her kindness for desperation
- Do not think yourself irresistible, you’re probably not.
- Do not punch above your weight, then when the girl settles because she’s actually nice and unmaterialistic, you suddenly feel superior and proud
- Counselling is free and available on the NHS and commitment-phobia is a serious condition
- Do not give her mixed messages, try to be clear on your intentions from the off, she’ll respect you for it and it just avoids a lot of agro
- If you have been Two-timing, then know that you are scum
- She isn’t your booty-call, not without her permission that is
- Grow a pair and tell her you like her
- Just grow up or act your age (vague I know…reminds me of someone)
- Grow a pair…oh I already mentioned that! Well grow a bigger pair then!
- Don’t lie, women are very intuitive and can smell it a mile away, and your Pinocchio nose is invisible to all but to us.
- You should read about KARMA...trust me it’ll come in handy
- Paying for dinner and opening doors aren’t reserved for Gentlemen, they’re reserved for people with manners
- Don’t be an emotional terrorist and don’t play with her emotions
- Just because you’re a loser and she likes you, doesn’t make her desperate. Nice maybe but not desperate
- Women are not that complicated, ok that’s a lie, they’re a puzzle (like a puzzle of Chubaka, very hard to solve), but you’re simple enough for the pair of you, so try to see things simply and quit acting like a penis.
- Also just for good measure, try not to act like a dick
- It’s really ok to be slightly less good in bed than Casanova, but a basic of female anatomy is really a minimum
- Don’t play hard to get, that’s the women’s job
- If you are homosexual, don’t use her as your cover story
- Don’t fake a terminal brain condition, she will not stay with you for sympathy you psycho
- Do not flirt with her friends, it is callous and morally repugnant
- Since men can only count to 30 I will stop here.
Here we were thinking men rule the world (what was I thinking?), turns out, we just give them too much credit; men are really pathetic, weak creatures who don’t have the faintest idea how to deal with their emotions or feelings. They are emotionally retarded, they get freaked out when they like a girl and run a mile. They get freaked out because a girl is assertive or remotely attractive and interesting and just to confuse us further, will ask you out over and over again, hold your hand, then pull a Houdini on you.
Let’s face it ladies, the pool of choice out there is poor, and the little choice you do have is busy chasing their own tales or playing David Coperfield.
Do you really want to play in the minefields of mind games and strategies, timed and measured communication? You call this fun? Wouldn’t you rather stay and die an honourable spinster? Just a thought.
And to come back to my initial question, yes it seems the rules of dating do apply to Algerians because being an asshole doesn’t have a nationality. The END.
Dz-Chick….has a bigger pair than you!
Ameeeeeeen!
ReplyDeleteDZ-Chick how I do love you and how I have missed reading you!!! Very funny as per usual!
ReplyDeleteOn the bitch theory, I would like to point out that I would fall under the latter category although I am still single. Admittedly men do like me....treat them mean, keep them keen is the key. Nonetheless the male market is saturated with imbeciles that have not games but think themselves players.
Men should not grow a 'pair', they should grow a vagina dear. Here is a quote I have recently read which I found to be the most accurate statement regarding testicles and men alike:
'Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really want to get tough, grow a vagina! Those things can take a pounding' Betty White.
There DZ Chick, now we know why many men are spineless creatures and part of a worldwide organisation called CIA, acronym for Cowards in Action.
Dearest, those morons can hardly count the totality of their fingers let alone to 30 but I am sure there will be exceptions.
J'ai adore the use of the term na3dine ;-)
Hat off on this amusing piece, it made my week!
Keep calm & remain single!
PS: worth mentioning that your titles & illustrations are as amazing as your writing!
Take easy ladies, u knw u love us no matter what nd u CAN'T live with us... So keep calm and keep loving us deeply ;)
ReplyDeleteArsenal Fan says: Can someone please track down the ball-free miscreant who upset the chick-lady and bring him to justice? It seems the nadless wonder has crossed the line with our friend and given us bejewelled fellows a bad name!
ReplyDeleteThat said, I would like to take exception at the fact that our lady of the blog thinks men can't count beyond 30. Lady! Not all of us are intellectuals! We stopped at 10!
Ps: in the interest of adding 'coolness' to proceedings, can we swap Houdini for Dynamo? Just saying lady... I know you meant escapology but I'm trying to help here...
Pps: If the above brought a smile to your face then it's only fair. I'm just returning the favour. Keep going lady, for good men are like London buses... They're big, red and a nuisance to cyclists... What was my point again?
Miss Polemique I can’t play mean, not in my DNA but maybe I should read that bible again, I picked it up this morning on my way to work, light reading for the commute.
ReplyDeleteGood point on the balls being so weak, exposed, sensitive, something so fragile yet so exposed! But I like the quote lol
A MAN We can’t live with you? Damn right
Arsenal Fan
My bad. Pseudo-intellectuals can count to 30!
As for the ball-free miscreant, well he has to wake up early to upset me! Like Souad Massi said: lazem tnoud bekri, tesbak ga3 drari..
Dynamo is alright but he doesn’t excel at escapology, Hoodini on the other hand!!
And yes you brought more than a smile to my face, I laughed.
Arenal Fan says:
ReplyDeleteWell I'm glad you laughed... I too laugh.. in the face danger (sorry, I've always wanted to say that).
And Souad Massi reminds me of my father. He too used to say 'lazem tnoud bekri'. For no particular purpose you understand. He just liked to wake me up early while he went back to bed that's all... It made one of us laugh...
Anyway, I think I found the end to my London buses analogy, so here goes... [ahem, testing testing, mic check... Can you hear me at the back? no? good]. Men are like London buses because you can tell where they're going just from looking at them. They are predictable (pre-defined route and bus stops). They're cumbersome and (sometimes) smelly,cause all sorts of problems (traffic... etc), bad at time keeping, arrogant enough to think they deserve different treatment (they warrant their own traffic lane, but it's only to get you there quicker so it's altruistic!) and yet... They seem to be indispensable... Oh and there is that thing about waiting for one then three... etc.
ps: With regards to rule 19. Being slightly dyslexic, it took me three tries to get the right gist: The first time I got a menu from my local Indian take-away (my favourite is Garlic Chicken anyway). The second, I went home with a book that caused much mirth from my wife. Apparently I have much trouble with my evangelical work (you work it out! you're clever enough for six!) for me to try the more complex ways to 'spread the love' on offer. Finally, I read about Karma and at last I know why my posterior is so chewed the freck up!
Arsenal fan
ReplyDeleteAlmost perfect analogy of men as buses, I especially like the part where they all come at once, then you run for the first one, who wouldn’t stop because he thinks you’ll get on the 2nd one, who doesn’t want to stop because he knows there’s another one behind, but that one got pissed off at the first 2 for not stopping and so in protest doesn’t stop either. So you wave, scream, swear, wait and perhaps even cry! I hate buses!
Where were we? Ah yes Korma hmmmmm I think I know what I am having tonight.
Arsenal Fan says (I love how megalomaniac it makes me sound when I speak in the 3rd person!): pizza?
ReplyDeleteHaha With a korma topping hmmmm
ReplyDeleteGooner (for short cos I'm getting tired of this and I have a name dammit!!! I'm not a number! oh wait... I strayed in an episode of The Prisoner... ) says: A woman with a refined palate and who can count to 30... The mind boggles... A case of witchcraft if I've ever seen one!Next you'll reach the dizzy heights of fine dining by saying you'll wash it down with a Jaegger bomb (served in a dainty glass of course... we're not animals!).
ReplyDeleteI prefer to eat my diner in Taperwear and wash it down with tap water in a paper cup! La classe
ReplyDeleteCan we not stray from the topic please!
Me again (who else...) says:
ReplyDeleteYes Ma'am [coughbossycough]. In summary... Women are from Venus and Men are buses. Simples.
On a serious note (and to prove it I am frowning while typing this!), everything is justifiable when you are self-centered, even when you know you are hurting people. and if you are insecure, instead of dealing with a situation, you run and hope it just goes away. Some eventually snap out of it and try to make amends (not necessarily with the same person) and others carry on glossing over their short comings with a veneer of bravado.
Moral of the story is: Don't go to the woods by yourself. No, wait! it's: Don't talk to strangers?... hmmm nope... not that one either... Ah yes... Kahwa wella tey ya l'fahem... I think that ouught to do it... if not I can go all confucious and we don'T WANT THAT...
dz chick as always i love reading you. I agree with the above esp 18 i HATE LYING
ReplyDeleteif you allow me can i add few other dos and donts..
- please do not ask her how much do you get paid on your first coffee together. dude wake up it is not prostitution !!!
-do not mention buccal hygiene on your first date..it is revolting..trust me it will put her off..
-be clever and engage her in topics you like to talk about ( that ll tell u if u can walk and talk forver)..ofkors i did not mean FIFTY SHADES OF DARLING GREY...
-just be yourself and respect what she is doing and listen to what she is saying
Dz chick said it all above..
hope you are well my darling..keep it up..love..xxxxx..haniya
"the rules of dating do apply to Algerians because being an asshole doesn’t have a nationality. The END."
ReplyDeletehahahhaha this is absolutely brilliant. I will quote over and again Dz-Chick.
you've got a bigger pair ... therein lies the crux of the matter.
ReplyDeletehaha bossy!! pfff not even close!
ReplyDeleteMoral of the story is learn to say no and follow your instincts when they're shouting NOOOOO and you shush them away and of course don't talk to strangers especially in the woods!
Haniya I don't know any liars really :/
Glad to "see" you around hon, though you don't seem to be having much luck with les zomme! xxx
Dawood And I so know it!
Thanks Chika dz for your blog and for your advices.
ReplyDeleteThere may be a chance a pretty bent familia lady is reading this. If you are between 23-27 and living in the us. I m probably the best thing that could ever happen to your life. Contact me and you will get married as soon as possible if you are honest.
The mysterious.
shed them off. or at least resize them.
ReplyDeleteDz6chick
ReplyDeleteIts an equal rights thing. The greater must let the lesser have their say. Actually, their strivings are rather amusing. An accurate portrayal of themselves, I think.
Sorry, my dearest Chick, that we here in the backwaters of time haven't the sophistication of intellect to join you (the Feminazi death squad) in the 21st century. Would you be the indulger of those of lesser endowments?
Dz Chick darling. Stop. Look. Listen. Learn to read, and/or understand what is written:
EVERY woman is a bitch! If she weren't, she'd be useless. It is her bitchiness that gives humankind a chance of survival. As nature intended, the male is attracted to and can't help but follow that which is called the "bitch factor" in the woman. The bigger the bitch, the greater the following. Where would the world be if there were no bitches?
In no way do I degrade or demean the female by referring to her as a Bitch. Rather I commend her on holding onto her integrity by being the very essence of a bitch when she is protecting that which is hers. The female of the species is the most fierce of all.
My greatest respect is for a true Woman. But little have I for she who would scheme to be less than a woman, and less still for she would aspire to be more than woman.
Yrs devotedly and lovingly,
You know Who
@ dz chick. yeah no luck at all.. my standards are high and algerians keep dissapointing me allah ghaleb habit weld bladi 3ziz otherwise there are internationals and had enough of attracting the wrong audience !
ReplyDelete@ The mystrious.. over confident dont you think? 28 doesnt count? plus I wont contact you I am sorry..can you do that step for me lol?
Hanya
Funny! But kind also of depressing to know that much (most probably) beautiful girls alone and me here waiting in vain... I should reconsider moving to London
ReplyDeleteAbout the part about the anatomy, I don't really understand what do you mean. Knowing how it basicly should work, is the first step in getting wiser and being able to have a conversation about something you don't really know about. My experience tells me that every woman bring (almost) a new understanding, physical and love experience. That is an old saying but with which I agree. You have to learn a (new) person with its tastes and physical dispositions, I mean some places exists in certains people that don't exists in others and you have to discover them (my personnal preference, it keeps the thing a bit *magic* woot!) or ask for them (most likely needed and favorable for the relation). Since I'm already digging this grave, I'll add what my favorites things are:
a) to hold the head of my partner like the head of a baby (don't wait to have babys to learn how to old a baby's head!)
b) to shiver but you won't know much about that without trying!
I'll add that most of the time the man is more heavyweight, so take care.
Miss Polemique: you are DEPRESSING, staying single shouldn't be a girlygirl motto, but a personnal choice. You are going to put some interesting woman «out of market» for no apparant reason. BTW while I'm bashing you, «What the Day owes to the Night» is not a good read, at least not in any other perspective than getting young people grumpy about the fact that they can or can't have love relations and/or any relations at all. This is not an historical book, this is not a philosophical book, nor spiritual, this is a somewhat depressing romantic girl book. I hated it very much. Still I'll have a look the other book of your bio.
Hey guys, a question for you, how do you deal with bitches in disguise, they look like a normal women but share some skills with yoda and robots with a dysfunctioning positronic brains ? And no she is not Samantha of Bewitched...
Keep it steady!
@ Hanya:
ReplyDeleteI thought that women prefer confident men. 28 would be fine. Can you give me a hint on how to contact you?
The Mysterious
@ the mysterious, yes they do.. but not over cofident bececomes arrogance...a hint? too easy man.. i ll leave it to you to do it your way..impress me !
ReplyDeleteHanya
@ ila amame.. hold her head? very intresting and very romantic!!!
ReplyDelete(fed up with the Week-end result) Arsenal Fan says:
ReplyDeleteWhere's the fun in always playing it safe? It is precisely because our instincts tell us not to that we go for things. That's human nature. We're like goldfish (supposedly). We forget again and again the danger, the moment we click with someone regardless of what gender we are.
As for not talking to strangers in the woods, it's not always wise: What happens when you need help (after I tree trunk you were chopping down falls on you) and a stranger walks past? That's right... Said stranger becomes Khoya laaziz...
Dawood I try...but somebody has got to be a man!
ReplyDeleteYou know who bitch this, bitch that! You’re done now?
Yes we get it, men love to be treated like a naughty child and put in his corner, I will remember that for next time one of your kind is trying it on!
Still good to see your serious side for once, this qualifies as an actual contribution; I hope you’re proud of yourself. Now pick up your socks
Haniya don’t obsess with the Algerian man; he’s not, despite what you might think, the best thing since sliced kessra.
Widen your horizons and drop the obsession. Yes it’s me talking.
Ila al Amame Don’t bother moving to London, the girls here are too old for you Algerians, yes, they’re all over 27. whoops!
Why would you hold her head? I personally don’t like anybody touching my head, my hair or any of the above! No pun-intended.
Mysterious and Haniya although I am loving the show! I will now kill it by handing you guys a bone!
Just use my email address dz-chick(at)hotmail.co.uk and I will make it happen. Damn!! :P
Arsenal Fan allow me to say: Mwahahahaha take that Arsenal!
Damn it’s true, as soon as we click with someone, all lessons learnt go out of the window, I guess it is human nature, if we didn’t forget, where would we be now? the mother will never have another baby if she didn’t forget the pain, nobody would fall in love again if they didn’t forget the heart ache and the Arsenal fan wouldn’t keep supporting his team if he didn’t forget the tragedy of the weekend. Ah mercy!
Gooner says: Mwahahahaha? Please.. you're frightening the horses with that laugh. You sound like you're wearing a cape and vampire teeth... (apologies if that's your natural look. I'm not judging.Just make sure you don't get your cape caught in the Tube doors and lay off the watercress in your sandwich. It stick between the teeth). Anyway, a simple HaHa would have sufficed.
ReplyDeleteAs for the rest, I agree, including the bit about Arsenal even if your slight cut me to the bone... I hope you can live with yourself..
ps: Sliced Kessra? That's one marketing battle Hovis will never win!
pps: From your comments re the 'holding your heard' part, do I take it that you are averse to a headlock as a mark of affection?
Gooner another Arsenal fan I see? I feel your pain but don’t worry, I never let mediocre taste in Football teams change my mind about people.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes I will try to live with myself, it’s getting cosy in there with my (bum) ego taking so much space; but wearing the cape and rolling in hay, keeps it real for me “rollies”
A headlock you say? Likes it rough or likes it gentle, we will never know!
Arsenal Fan/Gooner says: It's the same person.. Moussa l'Gooner - Gooner Moussa!
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of egos... I'm hurt (this is turning into a constant state of affairs here!) that you think there's another one with my wit and sense of repartee (yes you can call me Houhou too, for I thank myself ALL the time). As the terrace chant goes: there's only one Moussa Goona', One moussa goona! There's only one Moussa Goona...
Rah t'hablouni!!! I was sure in fact that you were the same person but gooner is a bit different from Arsensl fan, don't ask me how!
ReplyDeleteAnywho, it's all very schyzho around here I could be Miss Polemique!!
Ps: secretly gutted I didn't identify you as Gooner el Hadj!
Moussa Goona says:
ReplyDeleteArsenal Fan = Gooner. You can ask me how (players = Gunners,Fans = Gooners) but let's not stray even further from the topic or we might not get back to it. The bungee chord is about to snap.
Anyway, since we don't know who's who ... I am DZ-Chick (This joke works mainly in Thailand and Brazil. Oh and in countries without that damn whooping cough!!!).
only davood can pull off using different pseudos but still be recognaaaaaazd innit.
ReplyDelete@dz chick..sliced kessra lol.. i tried to widen the horizon..i just cant do it..i guess i know what is la suite..cant believe u talking honestly? u totally gave up?
ReplyDeletelol at your email address..the mysterious ???
hanya
@Hanya: good to know you're still alive :P . hope you're doing well.
ReplyDelete@dawood..is it who I think it is ? I hope u keeping well too friend..long time!!!!
ReplyDelete@Ila Al Amame,
ReplyDeleteI have been called a fool on this blog and now depressing, should I take a hint?! Humm no!
I am single and NOT as a girlygirl motto, I am in my mid-thirties, hardly girly but admittedly childish at times ;-)
As for being depressing, you could not be further removed from the truth but feel free to make a judgement, one couldn't care less.
I am not putting any woman 'out of market' as stated, I have no power over anyone but myself.
My singlehood is evidently a personal (notice the spelling please) choice!
'Bashing' me?! I can assure you that wasn't a bashing in any aspect but if that's the best you can do, may the Lord be with you.
Clearly my opinion on the average Joe or 'Mouloud' if you'd like was slightly caricatured. My malevolent comment on your species was assuredly provocative hence I did expect some reactions. Thank you Mouloud ;-)
As for 'What the Day Owes to the Night'.....Les gouts et les couleurs ne se discutent pas mon cher!
Bitches in disguise... you don't deal with her, she deals with YOU. 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'. It's an inbuilt survival mechanism, just deal with it brother!
Keep it real steady!!
@Ila Al Amame,
ReplyDeleteAs an after thought, you hold a woman's head as you would a baby?! Are you a head fetiche?! ;-)
@DZ-Chick, LOL, just read your comment on the eventuality of you being Miss Polemique. That would assuredly be schyzophrenia as I am not keen on Algerian men and very tough on men in general whereas you love Algerian men and have a much kinder and sweeter disposition.
ReplyDeleteIf you were Miss Polemique you would undoutedly need a straight jacket!
Being the victim of an irresistible enticement, I had to drop by to see if all the foot-stomping is over. Having spent some valuable time and precious energy reading over the back posts and trying to get a handle on their import has left me numb and gasping for air, let alone for words.
ReplyDeleteWhat did I find? Clowns galore vying for attention with yellow-stained fangs flashing.
"as I am not keen on Algerian men and very tough on men in general". I see that Miss Polemique is still spewing the same words-only with greater meaningless. Must be hell to live with one's head in the intimate space of the anus of a professed idiot! did you not
have a mother to warn you of the dark dangers lying in wait for fools who attempt to use the odorous backside instead of hand-signals to send communiques to your betters?
You, sexless cow, are still pretending to be a woman. As an expert on the subject, I can assure you you are not. However, that doesn't mean your life is over. Not at all. You can still service those who are of such a mind, and who don't care if the attention is coming from a unit that comes from the shallow end of the gene pool. Hope I have not been too harsh with you. but if I have you will let me know. Will you not?
It does my heart good to see the Gooner come out swinging some right hooks, even if he is still 'off course'.
That being said, it is obvious that we of the lesser intellectual levels just might be denied a fair and just participation in the goings on at this party being given by the feminazi death squad if we didn't bring along a cold twelve pack of Male testosterone.
This is only by the way of
introduction. We will get on with the surgery as soon as we have a proper diagnostic certainty of the malady and a schema from which to proceed.
You know who
@You know who a.k.a Le Baron des Hideux,
ReplyDeleteYou are as delighful as ever Quasimodo (in appearance of course, not character).
Miss Polemique is consistent hence will inevitably be repetitive!
A self professed idiot is much preferrable to a self professed unattractive and unlovable man... 'I'm not a very handsome man, you will hardly fall in love with me'. Still there is hope but in your next lifetime.
'you shall in NO case and under NO circumstance or occasion be granted a monthly allowance EXCEEDING that of 20,000 (twenty thousand Euros a month)'. Awwwww bless.... you have to pay for the privilege of having sex with a woman?! How honourable Casanova!
If I had to diagnose a DZ-Chick reader as a schyzo, undoudtedly that would be you. You pompous creature wrote many hateful messages to the author of this blog to then declare his love, psychotic tendencies are treatable.
You clearly live in the UK (Monte Carlo, ahahahaha), your keyboard has no euro symbol, never mind! Besides the only price you can afford to spend for carnal pleasure is £20.
As you mentioned my mother, let me ask you about yours. Has she abandoned you at birth or later on in life?
Are you an expert in women?! I certainly can tell! Did you know that ewes cannot be referred to as women?? I am aware that they were the only 'beings' that obliged in accommodating your tiny penis (they hardly had any choice) quand bien meme ce ne sont pas des femmes!
It's time for your pills dear!
(A truly amazed at the turn of events) Moussa Gooner says:
ReplyDeleteWith all due respect to one and all, Gooner's only intention was to bring a smile to DZ-Chick's face since she usually does a public service by making most of not all who read her blog smile too.
Before anyone pigeonholes my comments (as it is people's wont here, it seems), I do not see myself as a knight in shining Armour and she a damsel in distress. In fact I find all this Men V Women dichotomy extremely tiresome and counter-productive. It's not about labels. Life is a trifle more complicated than that(15 years of marriage and two kids will teach you that). It is just about recognizing when one does wrong and to try and own up to it (or not, as has been the case for most of us I'm sure). You either see your action from your point of view or from the recipient's. When all said and done, it is people we're dealing with, not words, labels, long winded diatribes...etc. Nothing else. 'Tis the simplest and yet the most complicated principle to abide by.
Speaking of long-winded diatribes, I best end mine:
I'll own up to being a clown (my shoe size is borderline circus material, without mentioning my hero worship for Sideshow Bob) for when you experience life's blows, you tend to stop navel gazing, but I was not seeking attention (just being friendly to a friendly brilliant soul). Finally, if I were 'off course', that was on purpose. Her blog was almost rhetorical (and not a little cathartic). I didn't think she needed my take on it. Seems most people read the Chick-lady's blog but none heard her. wel h'dith kyass. El fahem yefhem.
ps: The above is my two pennies' worth and does not in anyway constitute an invitation for verbal jousting. No-one is targeted or meant to be offended. We salam.
pps: I am no 'new man' or any such crap. I am just Tired-of the BS-Man.
@ Hanya, why do you want to make it difficult for mektoubek.
ReplyDeleteThe Mysterious
My dear sexless cow,
ReplyDeleteIt appears that you are laboring under some very unhealthy delusions. Likely due to too many oral injections which cut off circulation to your sodomized brain.
You really ought to see if you can dig up a body to concentrate your energies on. I am so far above your class that it is a punishable sin for me to even address you. No, I didn't say UNDRESS you. You've done that too many times already in all the wrong places and with the wrong people. Try some of that stuff called discretion.
Try to understand, Sexless Cow, that here you are among the human species. As such there are certain customs one must follow if one is to be perceived as being worthy of consideration by one's superiors. Sure, we, being kind-hearted and generous to a fault, will toss you a tasty turnip occasionally, but it in no way is an implication that you are approved of by us.
If, by chance, you do possess the ability to moo, I shall be kind and scratch your ears to relieve your great hurt.
BTW, you seem to be taking an undue interest in my penis. Are you certain you don't have ulterior motives. I mean, afterall, I've had far too sexless cows do a swoon from their utter admiration of it, and you are beginning to give me that uneasy feeling.
You Know Who
Moussa Gooner
ReplyDeleteLol @ whooping cough
Your intentions were clear and you did deliver more than a smile to my face and thanks for being grateful :)
The blog is indeed rhetorical and somewhat cathartic, but subtlety isn’t everyone’s forte!
Sideshow bob rocks!
Dawood Yeah, you is the king of disguises!!
Haniya Yes I totally gave up on Algerian men. The world is a far bigger place. The end.
Miss Polemique and You know who play nice and no name calling guys! Come ooooon
For me? :)
@Hanya:
ReplyDeleteemail me at merouane.merouane at gmail dot com. It may work out.... if you are pretty, educated and not bandia.
The mysterious
@Dz_chick
ReplyDelete"Come ooooon..For me? :)"
When it comes to please a DARLING like you, there is no limit to the risks that my daring soul and fiery spirit will not take, and no mountain I cannot move with my desire for you! And you be bold enough to say "I totally gave up on Algerian men". How utterly typical of the unloved and unloving.
It is now clear that you have never been loved by a real man.
Believe me. You have my sympathy.
Ever Aunt, thine dutifully,
You Know Who
Moussa Gooner aka Arsenal Fan aka Beykar (yes that's the definitive 'nom de guerre') says:
ReplyDeleteThe pleasure's all mine lady, although I was mistaken when I said I smiled the first time. T'was wind.
And in true Lt Colombo style, one last thing:
This giving up on 'Algerian men' thing... it just boils down to good old 'Nul n'est prophete en son pays' syndrome. I believe you blogged about the matter a while back so no need to revisit. Throw in that we here (as in in Blighty) are the equivalent of 'mint tea made with earl gray', which makes us this new Brit-Algerian variety (yes, I'm explaining the parable since there are a couple at the back whose eyes have glazed over!) and of course you'll have trouble with DZ people! It's not unique to us lot.
Aya I've darkened your blog for long enough. As we say where I'm from... Terb'hou!
you know who you picked up on that huh! Yeah I am afraid I Algerian men became too predictable. Good for a laugh though.
ReplyDeleteMoussa Gooner aka Arsenal Fan aka Beykar
Wind? Maaan I am good!
You too picked up on the Algerian men are history thing! I like mint tea and I like earl grey (with lemon) but I cannot fathom the combination, must be special. Does that make me a minted-lady grey? :D
Until the next one….Terbah
Beykar says:
ReplyDeleteOh so just because it's not from Twinnings it's not fathomable? you remember that when you next have your Jasmin/Rose Petal/Essence of Kumkwat infusion in the morning. Yeah you know you do!
And not All DZ men are predictable... I sometimes part my hair to the left... Yes, I live dangerously...
Glad you find it a good laugh though... as we say back home... Harrira bien qui harrira le dernier...
Aya nobody hold me back I swear I have to go!
@ miss polymeque and and you know who..khoyan washbkom~!!!
ReplyDelete@ Dz-chick..yakhi hala yakhi..wish you ll find a darling who treats you right.. w na3albo li may7abnach..
@ The mysterious: hih why not..I ll drop u a line later..I like the fact that u r insisting on pretty as your first thing u r looking for in a girl ( sarcastic smile)! not sure u ll like me :P:P:P.. Mektoubi manohrabch meno.. wash jay raho jay !
hanya
\dzc miss polémique is ruining teh atmosphere with chaviness.
ReplyDelete@Dawood
ReplyDeleteMiss Polemique is still a know-nothing teenybop. A gentle spanking should correct her behavior and send her back to her sand castles lovingly erected too close to the greedy surf.
You Know Who
Beykar I part my hair in all places! I once had multiple braids at la afro hair! You could see my scalp! Not a good look
ReplyDeleteNow that qualifies as unpredictable! You probably just eat your apple unwashed and calling it an edge, I know your type!!
Dawood she’s gonna kills you!
you know who play nice now!
You know I don't have to moderate you guys! Go ape!
Miss Polemique has just one thing to say to @Dawood: 'do I look bovvered?'
ReplyDeleteYou know who, no comment for now! How's the weather in dreamy St Ann's Hospital, I meant Monte Carlo?!
@DZ-Chick, I have to admit @you know who is a worthy opponent, Dawood is simply mediocre! Thanks chica though. No time to reply to you know who appropriately ;-)
ReplyDeleteMiss Polemique,
ReplyDeleteI must admit that I indeed have my own Boudoir at St Ann's Hospital.It was constructed to my very exacting specifications. The fair maiden are amazed at its precise details, but they are able to appreciate the romantic symbolism found everywhere. They
are stirred to great heights of excitement when in certain rooms, and they thank me in ways that you are too young to understand (wink).
You Know Who
@Miss Polemique,
ReplyDelete"@DZ-Chick, I have to admit @you know who is a worthy opponent"
Don't build the girl's hopes up. She'll never have me. Therefore, she'll never have a man like me. The ferocious man-eater from New York, of course, understand what I am referring to. Don't you, SAVAGE PAGAN?
You Know Who
Beykar says:
ReplyDeleteDammit... I need to change fruit tomorrow...
'can't b bovaaaaaaad' says the one who writes pretty much a book for every post she writes ..... zzZZzZZZzZZzzz pretentious & borrrrrrrrrrringgggggg!
ReplyDelete@Dawood chavish suits you!! Evidently the books you read are only a page long, just as I thought, mediocre!
ReplyDelete@You know who, you are a very strange character ;-)
borrrrrrrrrinnnnnnnnnggggg is you babes. looking for 'opponents' on da net lolol. you read all dem books yet you still hasn't got a clue LOL.
ReplyDelete@Miss Polemique,
ReplyDelete"@You know who, you are a very strange character ;-) "
Heard that before. Normally it means I'm curious as hell, but the bastard ain't gonna get me without a propa chase.
Are you, perchance, about the conquering of The Baron Of Hydreux? Foolish girl, you can't stay in bed that long.
Now, how do you propose to overcome you extreme limitations?
You Know Who
What the fuck! C'est plus un blog, c'est un forum! Je vais finir par t'appeller DZ Chicane...J'ai du mal a suivre les conversations, les affinites, les degres, les non dits...
ReplyDeleteJe suis certaine qu'il y a matiere a, avec tous les intervenants actifs dans les discussions:
- ouvrir un cabinet de recrutement
- un site de rencontres
- un hammam
On peut parler du business plan autour d'un gratin dauphinois
Ah un bon Dauphinois oui!
ReplyDeletemaself i prefers a good gratin de fruits de mer from trou dou douce compléte wid some baguette rassie that has been oven heated for extra crunchiness. also need a nice mazavarou bien fort on the saaaaaaaaaade with a good salade verte.
ReplyDeletewho wants to try? all polémikoz please abstain.
@Dawood, you certainly have to read more books, your spelling is atrocious! The English dictionary will be a great start for you, on the second thought start with your ABC ;-)
ReplyDeleteyou (.)
ReplyDeletehaving a girlfriend or even a wife is so much of "headache" and I personally prefer to "fuck bitches and stay single"
ReplyDelete@InjectOr, what else is a dog meant to be doing?!
ReplyDeleteI hope you are having fun with it as you might regret this lifestyle in a few years. Although I am sure you will import a fresh Algerian girl and marry her so that she can wipe your STD-a** in your old age.
Favorite post EVER !
ReplyDeleteoh yeah !!
the : Do not approach if you have no intention to stick around , suits me the best
Yasmine
Yes Yasmine mine too.
ReplyDeleteI read a quote by Bob Marley that says "the biggest coward, is a man who awakens a woman's love with no intention of loving her"
I see this ALL the time sadly!
wow Yasmine I feel for you. Im the same healing from a broken heart by an Algerian who lives in London. And like DZ chick said he awakened my love but never had any intentions of loving me...But you know what i choose to be better than him and I choose to not let him or anyone else change me. Im kind and loving and have a lot to offer and you know what, im sure one day the right guy will turn up and I hope he will be Algerian, just have to keep smiling and life will definitely smile back at you.
Delete@ DZ.Chick: thank you so much for your wonderful blog, you are truly amazing... Please keep on writing you are very talented, perhaps we girls should meet up sometime,it would be fab to meet other bents bladi living in London.
Take care.
Another ( heartbroken ) Yasmine x
Men can't count to 30 ? How come the best mathematicians in the world are all men ?
ReplyDeleteSense of humour anyone?
DeleteI really like your writing DZ-Chick.
ReplyDeletePlease do not hate all Algerian men, just hate those who upset you.
Don't base your search for a man on nationality, base it on personality and if you have a rich taste, base it on the bank account.
Algerian men are the same as men from the world, some of them are useless and some of them are really fun to be with.
I am suggesting you write something about the say "Money doesn't give you happiness".
There is a lot of controversy about the subject and many contradictory views.
People say "Money doesn't give you happiness", but how come everyone wants more of it and wakes up early in the morning to get it ?
This has the potential to open an intellectual and philosophical debate.
SunLover04 - I wrote this such a long time ago, I don't even recognise myself anymore, I sound like an annoying teenager. Pls take everything you read here with a pinch of salt.
ReplyDelete