Upon a beautiful evening in London
This is my tribute to her poem and my own version with the Algerian man
The Algerian Man
He is black, he is brown, he is ginger, he is white! What? That’s a blunder!!
He is mixed, he is pure, he is African from the North
He supports the Polisario, he fought and fights still, Palestine Palestine
Then stands alone in his own war, dying at the hands of his own
No one comes, no one sees, all alone he beseeches
He beseeches the lord all mighty; he beseeches the Generals and the Maquis1
He cries for the proclaimed independence, he screams for the acclaimed freedom
No one hears, no one comes, all alone he beseeches
Comes Bouteflika and his posse
Changeth the constitution and the law
Cometh the reconciliation and the percuss
Yo! Bouteflika, you might as well join the circus
He proclaims Algeria
Mushroomed a bridge, then a highway, my Algerian man still sleeps in the gateway
His pleasures are small; his pleasures have no choice; his pleasures are pleasureless
Bouteflika swears the money is in the bank, he has yet to see some francs!
He showers sitting down, using a bucket and a dam
He borrows a houbla2 from his sister, eats her warm bread, spread with his mamma’s handmade jam.
He studied law, he studies tech, it’ll all come in handy holding up the walls
He hangs around the houma3, whistling at the girls passing by
When it gets a bit much, he’s put away for 18 months, it’s not the army, it is the waiting room.
From the gateway of the houma
No one comes, no one sees, all alone he beseeches
--------------------------
Ah Algerian man
With his tight trousers around his crotch and his thinning hair around the top.
With his mamma and his sister and the shrine to their Chorba4
He is macho, he is a chauve, he is chavy. He’s horma5
He is brave, he is fake, he is honest, a minx! he is MIX!
Is he Arab? is he Berber,? is he European? Neigh Mediterranean , his nationality is a sham.
Hell is getting warmer, the sirens call, Europe awaits…
He takes to the boats, following the sirens’ chants; half of him drowns along the way
The sirens take hold of him, the sea swallows him, his mamma, his mamma, how she cried
No one hears, no one comes, all alone he beseeches
Algerian man, arrives in Europe , Ah the splendours, the land of cherub.
But my Algerian man, he is black, he is brown, he is Muslim. He is different
Nobody wants him, nobody cares, all alone at Europe he stares
Starts anew; sweeps the streets, up the ladder,up he goes
Time elapses and he misses his pastures
He dreams of the Chorba, of the couscous and the Dolma
His mama on the phone, he cries about the Ghorba6, then marvels and laughs, this is my army, this is my waiting room
He is alone; he is a MAN, his hair still gelled, his pants still tight
He looks for Mrs Right; her skills are the Chorba, the Couscous and the Dolma.
Mrs Right ain’t so right, for she can’t cook worth a damn
With her manicured hands and her MBA brain, she can cook by the gram as long as Delia dictates
She has wind in her hair and a dress cut down to there, Barry Manillow sang about her
She doesn’t say “yes sir”, she doesn’t say “yay master”, the Algerian man in his cocoon, his mother is a saint his sister is a goon
Mrs Right, she don’t measure up, her mouth is too big, her hair is too wild, her hips swing in shapes that make him sway, her lips are full, her eyes shimmer with pride, she is a temptress, she is fly, she is simply too much and this Algerian man runs a mile
SIGH! Algerian man, Algerian man, Algerian man
His mother promises a princess from the east, her fingers are slender and her lips Oh so sweet
She can cook his bloody Dolma, she can steam his efing CousCous, and she will throw on a Jebba7
Makes him feel like a King, Algerian man oh how you sting
He wants her educated, he wants her blonde, he wants her Algerian, he wants her strong
He wants a Muslima, he wants a whore, when he gets both, he goes AWOL
This Algerian chick is sick of your games; make up your mind or go to hell
Marry your cousin and call it a day, she will comply, she will obey, She'll wear the Jebba indoors, and the Burka out
Are you Salafi now? Or are you just sly, is it to run a business is it to sell bras
Your beard is too long, your trou are too short
You think yourself superior, your think yourself so strong, you walk around sporting the ridiculous costume, Halloween is so last year, mate don’t you know?
Stay in line, hold your principles, respect your woman, buy longer trousers and stop crying about your mother’s clone you want to marry, you know full well that’s not so savvy
Only then, this Mrs Right will show her face and maybe then and only maybe can she magically cook up a mean Chorba that will put your mama in a corner
-----------------------
Ah Algerian Man, who stayed behind
Make something of yourself, make something of this place, head held high, honour in place, as long as the Chorba is still on the stove
Oh how your issues seem so different, we worry about Mr and Mrs Right, yet you worry about who to fight
You stand alone, you fight and you fight, with a lack of a seen-enemy, you turn on each other
I stand witness to this palaver
No one comes, no one sees, all together we beseech
Beseech Allah all mighty, beseech our dignity to stand all together. All against this corrupt power
Someone once said, Algeria
One day we will feel her love, warm on our skin, its sun so bright and its skies even clearer, its streets even cleaner and our hearts set free
Oh Algerian man, let’s not fight, you are my father, you are my knight, you are my brother, my man and my cousin, we’re in this together, accept it and you shall find your siren before you cross the seas and the make for the waves, for Algeria is your siren and I AM ALGERIA.
-----------------
1 – Short for Maquisards meaning Guerrilla
2 – 200 Algerian Dinars referred to as Houbla3 – The neighbourhood
4 – Traditional Tomato Soup
5 – Honour
6 – Diaspora
7- Algerian house dress
Excellent, defined Algerian men as they are....brilliant....
ReplyDeleteAwesome!! It made me laugh out loud!!!! You're a star
ReplyDeleteIn this dark night dz chick.
3 things:
ReplyDelete- fixated on MBA; what's that? sounds like a virus of some sort (micro bacilius agorastasia).
- tight pants? you love crotch-chafing tight pants; why?
- see above.
Well written, especially with this charming, poetic zest of stereotypes...
ReplyDeleteVague and sweeping little poetic words; so much so that I truly saw myself though them.
ReplyDeleteHi Dz, I very much like it!
ReplyDeleteRespect ohh yoww DZ chick. keep it up girl you're a star
ReplyDeleteAn Algerian man i know would say to ya:
----------------------------------
must i bite the dust again
with a grimace on your behalf
in order to hell those ugly mugs
stiff with absence and vileness
cradled by sluts and marvels
what they'd rather not hear
or get away, but leave for where?
in order to put an end
to your cat startled poses
to be made numb for ever
I'm going away to where the sun
shines less gently than here
but the very greyness tunes
the strings of sad guitars
born under the wondering star
damned to the end of time
for having committed dreams
deep in overcrowded dead-ends
tell me to wait a little longer
all it needed was a No
to the high officials
in the watchtowers above!
act as if everything was possible
for the child who used to wish
Algiers to be the loveliest of all the brides. ;)
DZ-Banksy aka Dz-Chick est de retour en force!
ReplyDeleteThis gem of a poem, tribute to the Algerian man, is more than verses but an anthem. I read it a few times over, accuracy or a blunder? I cannot judge as the lack of awareness on the specimen is a blinder.
Although inspired by Hala Ali's Khaleeji Man, it's not as vehement and antagonizing....Yours is humorous and somehow enchanting!
The Algerian Man is poignant and profoundly touching. His etat d'ame exposed for us to read, mockery and tenderness thrown in the mix. What a cocktail of Algerian politics, despair, 'megalomanie', Shakespearian internal conflict, sexism and nostalgie.
This poem Dz-Chick is a MASTERPIECE. I salute you a thousand times over Miss Algeria!
@Anonymous 1 & 2, I vividly agree.
@Guevara Marwane, bereaved poem depicting the bleak reality of some Algerian men. The Algerian Man is a chauvinist, strong man with misplaced pride but a warrior and lover at heart.
Look forward to reading "The Algerian Woman" poem/blog to see whether or not you're sexist!
ReplyDeleteDelboy
Good writing but the rhythm of the classical poetry is missing. If you think the algerian man is sexist well the saudi, not the khalidji though, is supersexist but down to earth supergenerous and not that different from the algerian man. Tha saudis are mostly arabs unlike the kuwaitis and emiratis (indians, persians ,etc ...) I lived for years in the gulf.
ReplyDeleteAmine from DownUnder
IMHO I don't really see it as a masterpiece to be honest, it doesn't even look like a poem for me. There is no rhythm nor rhyme. (OK, I see, maybe was meant to be white poem, fair enough, not satisfied with it thou). The content itself. I don't see it that way, maybe some of the things you mentioned, like missing the homeland, mother, family, yes, who doesn't who lives abroad for a long time? I do and I am not Algerian. Anyone would do who has good memories from his country and hasn't been there for many many years. Another point, not all Algerian men only rely on mum's or other woman cooking skills (although many of them do!), there are also Algerian men who are better chefs than women - and I don't mean at work but at HOME! Believe me I know what I am saying!
ReplyDeleteKeep writing, I like your blog. waiting for a poem about Algerian woman this time ;-D
Anonymous 1 and 2 Thank you guys :)
ReplyDeleteDawood I refuse to call you that ridiculous pseudo!
Quit playing ya!
Not fixated on MBA or tight pants, just love the latter have the first ha ha bloody ha
Unknown are you the same as the second Unknown? Sweeping little poetic words that make you see your little self though them? Is that the gist of it?
Sorry I am confused
Blue Cheers hon
Marwan Guevara the famous singer on my blog, how cool
Thanks for loving my little poem, tribute (and slate) to the Algerian man
Is that one of your songs lyrics? Your own?
Merci Miss Polemique on the eve of the 1st November what better than to read something so sentimental or patriotic. I love it if I may say so myself and I don’t ever say this about my words.
Delboy I will write something about the Algerian woman, I will be chased with torches then hanged. Who’s sexist!
Amine Down Under This is not your regular poem, this is more like words of a recital, it has to be performed for you to get the rhymes imbedded in it.
And when you say classical poetry rhythms are missing, I assume you mean metrical poetry, which I don’t strive to achieve, I write with the heart and not within rules.
You should know this by now ;)
Anonymous 10h14 Thanks for your valuable knowledgeable input on poetry! May we read some of your work perhaps? :)
A non-poem poem on the Algerian woman will follow, as soon as I can be bothered
Thanks DZ-Chick, I will wait until you bother yourself to deliver another anti-masterpiece poem ;-D (I am saying it with sympathy).
ReplyDeleteI can more or less imagine the non-poem on Algerian woman.
I will give a shy try (and so you can evaluate my poetry writing skills ;-)). It will follow like this more or less (while reading it, please take it with a pinch of salt ;-)
'She had everything she wanted, her family next to her, mother, brother, sister, brother, sister, nephew, etc... she could go to school (she does not come from Pakistan!), she could look for job (at least if she is from Algiers), she could then get married with Algerian man recommended by family, she could live her stabilised family life next to her hubby and surrounded with many sweet kids - all of them Muslim. She could spend the rest of her life in emotional security. She could.....but did she?
No, she was so hungry for adventurous life, hungry for insecurity, instability, hungry, hungry, ambitious, ambitious....
Yes, she got on the plane (she must have gotten student visa!) and landed in terra incognita...
...she has been living there now for many years.....
financially overfed, sinking in a glory of what Western countries call 'successful woman', but...
looking for husband, falling asleep and waking up alone...feeling bittery and unfulfilled, thinking 'oh f.uck this England!' , want to go back home, Algeria, my home! Want my mum and dad arrange my life, my marriage, my future, get me an Algerian husband...
So the circle closes here..
Why choosing risky way from the beginning?
Her adventurous nature?
It was better to follow the known path as her ancestors were following for centuries. But she rebelled. So there she is. Hopeless, fulfilled but unfulfilled, in London.'
with sympathy,
anonymous 10h14 :-)
Keep your day job Anonymous
ReplyDeleteWith Love
Dz-Chick
ReplyDeleteoooooooh babes you are averse to criticism on your works lolol. it's so touching like telling a parent about their pratty kids hihoihjoiuhuio so funnéz.
as for ma pseudo live with it. love it. embrace it. or don't.
every tom dick and harry has an mba these days you do realise that hmm? huhuhihugi
Oh Dawood you know the score on that! Always defend it when relevant! When random I'll agree with you! No go change that pseudo, you must have a few now :D
ReplyDeleteMBAs! Funny you don't have one ha ha
@Anonymous who supposedly is not an Algerian woman and made a very poor attempt at wrting a poem on the Algerian woman.
ReplyDeleteFirstly you ought to get a better command of the English language prior to challenging a fine blogger who has mastered the latter.
Secondly you are definitely Algerian, maybe an Algerian man or an androgynous? A very brave individual concealed under the pseudo Anonymous, well actually not even bothering making up a pseudo which is highly indicative of your creative flair.
Dz-Chick, this supposedly not Algerian woman (whatever dude) should not stick to their day job but explore their bitterness and probably heightened sense of unfulfilment which leads them to criticize the 'successful woman' who has written a masterpiece indeed.
Now now 'Anonymous' play nicely, tu joues dans la cours des grands! A quote for you: 'haters are confused admirers who can't understand why everybody else loves you' Paolo Coelho.
Let me shed some light on the matter @Anonymous....we love DZ-Chick for the same reason you do, she is incredibly talented, humorous, intelligent, witty and resilient. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Still you must have beautiful green eyes.....
"Clean the knife on us" (ams'hi fina el mouss) dz-chick... If there was not here and there some affectionate words for my fellows, I would be very upset...
ReplyDeleteThe drawing is obscure for me... Is it a donkey or a horse? May be the most important point is the fact it is a wooden animal... did you draw an artificial stallion? Yes? I feel hurt...
:-)
It's a Trojan Horse Chatnoir!
ReplyDeleteDrawing is a tribute to the Chorba ;)
@Anonymous (the non Algerian chick who poorly attempted to write a poem on the great Algerian woman) I came across a very short poem from my favourite poet...I thought of you- do not thank me please, I am kind like that ;-)
ReplyDelete“People want you to be happy.
Don't keep serving them your pain!
If you could untie your wings
and free your soul of jealousy,
you and everyone around you
would fly up like doves.”
― Rumi
and if i did have one i would not be bragging about it on the blogosphere ;) .
ReplyDeleteI did not mean to offend anyone with my non-poem story. I apologise if I did. Dz Chick I hope you didn't take my poor story personal! I like your sense of self-criticism, sense of humour and healthy distance to many things. And of course you are a good writer! Even your poem was cool and you know that :-)
ReplyDeletewith sympathy
Anonymous 10h14
That's the unknown.
ReplyDeleteThere's a philosopher whom I'm very much fond of; his name is Bertrand Russell. You might very well know him. He wrote an excellent essay that takes one into a fabulous, flabbergasting journey to human intellectual foolishness. He called it an "An outline of intellectual rubbish". Allow me to quote some excerpts from it:
"All these ways of speaking come of unwillingness to abandon foolish generalizations.
[...]
"Almost everybody allows himself or herself some entirely unjustifiable generalization on the subject of woman. Married men, when they generalize on that subject, judge by their wives; women judge by themselves. It would be amusing to write a history of men's views on women. In antiquity, when male supremacy was unquestioned and Christian ethics were still unknown, women were harmless but rather silly, and a man who took them seriously was somewhat despised. Plato thinks it a grave objection to the drama that the playwright has to imitate women in creating his female roles. With the coming of Christianity woman teak on a new part, that of the temptress; but at the same time she was also found capable of being a saint. In Victorian days the saint was much more emphasized than the temptress; Victorian men could not admit themselves susceptible to temptation. The superior virtue of women was made a reason for keeping them out of politics, where, it was held, a lofty virtue is impossible. But the early feminists turned the argument round, and contended that the participation of women would ennoble politics. Since this has turned out to be an illusion, there has been less talk of women's superior virtue, but there are still a number of men who adhere to the monkish view of woman as the temptress. Women themselves, for the most part, think of themselves as the sensible sex, whose business it is to undo the harm that comes of men's impetuous follies. For my part I distrust all generalizations about women, favorable and unfavorable, masculine and feminine, ancient and modern; all alike, I should say, result from paucity of experience.[...]"
I think that the same thing could be said about what one says on males, mutatis mutandis.
(I willingly write "male" for, as I've noticed, feminists likes it to put it this way as a rhetorical ploy, so at least that's the case in french "mâle".).
A man from Algeria.
Dawood Le villain Enjoy my fellow anonymous the joys of anonymity and you can brag or not brag about PHDs, MBAs and multiple girlfriends or whatever it is you brag about!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 10:14 That's ok, I am used to unfounded criticism and general nastiness from commenters, yours was quite mild in comparison and I believe you when you say you didn't mean to offend.
Miss Polemique did not take kindly to your poem, which was utterly rubbish (poem) as we both know :) but to me it's quite obvious you're not Algerian and your generalisations could then be quite offensive as opposed to mine.
Miss Polemique Rumi talks a lot of a sense, I find it very relevant and true. Take it easy on poor anonymous 10:14 :)
Unknown thanks for sharing this piece.
I will put my philosopher hat on and revert! Ooof a long day ahead then...
Unknown
ReplyDeleteI like the simple title Bertrand Russell gave such an intricate subject
What I find interesting is the part you picked for me/my blog?
“The unwillingness to abandon foolish generalisations”
I cannot say that’s 100% relevant. Although my poem had sweeping generalisations and some stereotypes. I have to just mention that stereotypes only exist when one witnesses one side/aspect of a group or a nation’s characteristic and tend to generalise them creating thus a stereotype. In Algeria, it is my belief that this ONE aspect observed cannot be stereotyped if it is in fact the ONLY aspect and very much the same across the board, i.e. perpetuated
A Stereotype for me it’s when something is perpetuated without change, and I think the Algerian man is brought up exactly like that, so what you call stereotypes become actual realties that are accurate and reflective of reality, ergo = NOT stereotypes.
Early riser, Philosopher Dz-Chick at your service
don't take it wrongings dearie you do take it to heart all dem criticismics - all testament to your true soft inner self like a praline in a brittle shell exterior.
ReplyDeleteat least you take it well from moi :P
What the hell is you problem with dolma?!! I really like it!!! I will not choose my wife only for her cooking skills, but if she knows how to make dolma I'll definitely propose ;) MBA is not THAT great achievement I think, and concerning our fellow countrymen (and women) I think they're (we're) having an identity crisis, some think they're ONLY berberes, some others Arabs when others muck the people of the Sahel (or they think they do) by calling them Africans -_- it's is time to evolve but i don't think we will live to see the algeria with blue sky and clean streets described in the last sentence. The military totalitarianism made them (us?) think this way (along with some consumerism) so you should address a copy of your tribute to Bouteflika :). Thanks for pointing out our negative aspects, hope it will help. and I feel ashamed when I think about the martyrs who sacrificed everything for this result
ReplyDeleteI like it when you write that, indeed, the poem uses a lot of stereotypes but, in fact, since there are occurrences of such, they "materialize" and, hence, they are, to be sure, NOT stereotypes. Lewis Carroll has a nice expression for that kind of reasoning: Sillygism.(not that I find what you write silly; quite the contrary).
ReplyDeleteZimzim = Unknown.
ReplyDeleteWoaw DZ-chick, is it's a bit racist to insist so much on ethny for a partner, is it that crucial for you to make a life with an Algerian and only an Algerian? are you stuck in some unposken tradition and can't get out of this frame of mind?
ReplyDeleteWitty... Btw this is not stereotype.... This is the result of the "baylek" .....we "all" do and like the same things.....literally Algerians don't like it when an Algerian is different ... And may even label him/her as strange
ReplyDelete...on the MBA thing ....everyone is allowed to talk about their achievements whenever they want....particularly on THEIR OWN blog....and if you (who critisized dz chick for doing so) are a looser ...we can assist u in writing an application....
What the hell.....the word "racist" comes about randomly these days.....everyone is free to choose their partner for F... Sake ....did she tell u she hates non Algerians, she is merely expressing the identity of the person she would like to spend her life with.... Bloody hell I can't even explain why I am explaining this to u idiot
ReplyDelete"we "all" do and like the same things.....literally Algerians don't like it when an Algerian is different ... And may even label him/her as strange."
ReplyDeleteThat's does not make a lot of sens to me. Does it mean that we all like cheese and wine? Or maybe we all like certain "ideas," say, egalitarianism AND individualism in the same time? Or maybe we all like theism and deism and atheism? Do all Algerians share the same political philosophies? Are they all "traditionalists"? Religious conservatives? Secular progressives? Feminists? Democrats? It seems to me that any society is much more complex then a bunch of rough categorizations which, it might turn out, could be specific to certain social classes but can very well be completely irrelevant to others... Again, I should be a bit careful not to be indulge in such sweeping generalizations. Is it Twain who once said "Every generalization is false, including this one."?
Not to indulge*
ReplyDeleteBrilliant post! It made me laugh so much because of how true it really is.. Sad story.. Hope our Algeria returns one day...
ReplyDeleteMiss Polemique said...
ReplyDeleteTo Anonymous that qualifies a preference as racism, for you only my dear.....a definition of racism:
'A belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.'
Now that you do know what racism actually means, please read DZ-Chick's blog again and attempt to to identify any claims of superiority or differences between races. You won't find any dear hence throwing the racist card is profoundly ludicrous. Besides is it worth mentioning that Algerian is actually an ethnicity and not a race?! We, Algerians, are so mixed you cannot claim to be of any race although some (ignorant) do.
I do prefer tall men, does that make me a 'heightist'?
@ all those offended by the acronym MBA, what is it that antagonizes you so greatly?? There are no posts on this blog focussed solely on MBAs but a mention here and there. Clearly DZ-Chick has a MBA, it's her blog, she writes about herself and topics that inspire her.....problem?! If your lack of MBA is so painful that reading a mention of it stirs such emotion, I suggest you enquire about undertaking the course.
@DZ-Chick you might as well have entitled this post 'Ode to the MBA' as it seems some people have only captured the acronym in this brilliant poem which reminds me...
Some readers have disqualified The Algerian Man as such as it doesn't rhyme throughout, hmmmmmm interesting. As I initiated this comment with a definition, I shall end it equally.
Poem: 'a composition in verse, especially one that is characterized by a highly developed artistic form and by the use of heightened language and rhythm to express an intensely imaginative interpretation of the subject.'
I wish you all a great day filled with love ;-)
Dawood don’t tell everyone ya!
ReplyDeleteElaswed I love Dolma, I just can’t make it, that’s my plight with it.
Zimzim Sillygism, yes I can qualify for that in a lot of my posts, I never said this was an anthropological piece of research. It’s all in the name of fun (poking, making of…)
Anonymous 23h40 Racist you say? Traditional? So many assumptions, so little time to answer.
anonymous 23h47 ha ha ha love your passion. You tell’em.
PinkSs One day…inchallah
Miss Polemique Loving your retorts ;)
@MIss polémique:
ReplyDeleteDZ-Chick doesn't need you to defend her. she does it better than your lengthy verbose posts ever will with her sense of humour.
go back to older posts and read some more, you got a lot of catching up to do. oh and that claim you made about smoking weed at the back of a bus makes you sound like a right chav.
@Dawood Terry Yaki ha ha mate you are funny!
ReplyDeleteI don't mind you not having a MBA, I am sure you can purchase one, you should try Blackstock Road. You can buy passports and driving licences there, I am sure they do cater for frustrated individuals that painfully yearn to have a MBA.
Dz-Chick certainly does not need me to defend her however I don't bear fools gladly hence I will voice my opinion that you like it or not!!
As for me claiming to smoke weed at the back of a bus, dude are you on crack?! You got me mistaken for someone else!
Chav?! Takes one to know one
the MBa thang don't bother - me and dz chick have some insider jokes (to which you're not privy of course).
ReplyDeletewell, if you're not that chav smoking weed in the back of the bos, then you must forgive me.
i don't bear fools gladlé either and you're a massive one so there ma dear - now don't you need to do some vaisselle or somefink?
Hey Dz-Chick, how about a post on your "ideal" man?
ReplyDeleteI guess by now we know pretty much what irks you, but not so much what makes you "vib" or turns you on if you prefer! :)
the horse to me signifies that the algerian man is a stallion ta3 za3ma, and the claimed freedom is khorti. waiting for the chorba to cook itself ! don't know this is my own interpretation of the picture
ReplyDeleteAfficionado My ideal man? hmmm I couldn't possibly put him into words, it's all about the feeling really. It would be unfair to reduce him to a list. but when I find him I might write about him ;)
ReplyDeleteWatch this space
Anonymous
The illustration to me is different, i drew it without really thinking, i just did what came to my mind at the time, but I would say: the Horse is obviously a trojan horse bearing the independence flame, so obviously a trap, our independence was a trojan horse!
Chorba is in the background, cooking, steaming, the only thing that hasn't changed or evolved, represents actually not the Algerian man but the woman and no it's not sexist or antifeminist to represent the DZ woman with a stewing pot of Chorba, but it's basically the values, the nobility and what makes the Algerian man weak at the knees :)
The mountains represent the maqui and the beautiful country, the birds I drew in souvenir of school and childhood, that's how I learnt to draw birds in the sky when I was a kid. that's it.
Anyone feel free to offer your own interpretation of the illustration.
@Dawood, I prefer burning bras to washing dishes dude!
ReplyDeleteAs for being a fool, my day off from this function is Tuesday so I take it with a big smile ;-)
ReplyDeleteAlgerian men...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_xqq1m9888
All these nice guys and you're still single!
Except for the nice looking hairdresser, the other dudes have serious issue with the dentist corporation. :/
ReplyDeleteInchallahHamdoulahAmine...
ReplyDeleteHadouk sboou3a khou, ma3andhoumch sennine bessah y3adhou khou... 3ass rouhek...
Last time I went to London was 15 years ago... Glad to know, thanks to the videos of that guy, that there is a Barbes like area there now... H'na forts
Interesting video ya ElGatt ! Shows the damages of inbreeding ! it's like they're all coming straight from a prisoner's camp in Reggane ya z..zah !
ReplyDeleteGuys: There's worse than that believe me. Check this out... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75MmeGlQ5vs&list=UUnP-OkSPSE2sAULi0ksoe0Q&index=24
ReplyDeleteThen stands alone in his own war, dying at the hands of his own
ReplyDeleteNo ones comes, no ones sees, all alone he beseeches
It could not have been said better.
Chatnoir Great specimen! I don’t understand how I am still single with all this around.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me want to reconsider my job, I should have been a dentist.
Lounja Thanks :)
It is sad sad but ain't it the truth...
Dz-Chick Mmm Dentist, after a date or two with some mouths, you will flee, convert to christianity and find a monastery to spend the rest of your life as a nun...
ReplyDeleteHomo Erectus Reggane... inbreeding or late consequences of nuclear tests?
kimahabit Let's stick to the subject : algerian man. Are you sure this guy is algerian. I am not sure. Let's proceed scientifically and list the pros and cons.
pros :
He is eating a frit-omelette.
The inevitable red carpet in the middle of the living room.
cons:
We see for a short moment his "makhoulaqa"
He didn't eat a single piece of bread with his frit-omelette.
I doubt he is, the cons are too unbereable for a true algerian.
@Anonymous, yes she got a student visa ....and what?????? we went to the UK to study and have a higher degree in comparison to our bloody compatriots from the opposit sex…whom prefer to be an illegal immigrant and used a Polish, European , Philippino or Brit just to get their papers....come on we choose the hardest way to be there by completing our studies and el hamdolilah we haven't failed to keep our HONOR and dignity….SHAME ON YOU ALGERIAN MEN
ReplyDeleteChatnoir I know! Algerians seem to have an issue with dentistry! Is it really that difficult to keep a mouth clean? I mean they already have crap personalities, reputation, temper and the list goes on; they should at least try to compensate! And THEY hold the dice?? Cooommmmmee ooooooon
ReplyDeleteI swear, if this continues I am gonna have to consider girls!
@ Dz_Chick
ReplyDeleteHow you do rant and rave when it is denied you!
You know who
DZC
ReplyDeleteAlgerian men have no personality?
You are wrong big time. Today an Algerian guy served me lunch and upon realizing I was Algerian he gave me a free coffee! it was a nice gesture! and made my day.
It is true a lot of Algerian guys are not a show off and are quite down to earth but it does not mean they have no personality.
I know what you are talking about, I was like that and yes it showered me with chicks, but I always found those kinds of girls, you know the ones that were easily swept under their feet by my old habit personality, I found they are the girls who are not a bit worth it. fake as hell.
So I am voting for Nass Mlah because it gets you somewhere in life.
ATO
You know who love love you
ReplyDeleteATO I said crap personalities not no personalities and they definitely have that!
khlass one free coffee and all of a sudden Algerians are the best!! have you no personality? :P
Listen ATO, don't be so naive, I am very nass mlah and look here!! what gives!
@ Dz-Chick
ReplyDeleteHow pretty are you? Are you rather beautiful than ugly or vice versa? Are you of mediocre looks?(neither beautiful nor ugly)
Sorry, your posts can only let me make judgement if you are intelligent or not, unfortunately, by your messages it is not seen how good-looking you are.
Are you slim?
Do you do daily bodily care like baths/showers, deodorizing, make-up, facial masks, manicure, fitness exercise etc.?
Do you have an elegant trot, you know, like those Laetitia Castas on the catwalk? Are you sexy? If so, do you have special tricks to make yourself sexy or does it go by itself? If not, what, do you think, makes you unsexy?
Are you generally liked by men dealing with you? And if they find you attractive, what is it that makes them think so? If not, what do they find to be your biggest problem?
It's not the most important thing, of course, to look beautiful... or ugly, but in order to know more about the person I communicate with I would greatly apppreciate any information supplied as requested.
yr. most attached
You know who
My dearest most attached person
ReplyDeleteSurely the fact i remain single after so many years should be a clear indicator about my looks, if you were remotely intelligent or had any deductive powers at all. Since you appear to have neither, I am going to help you, because I really am Ness Mlah.
I am a size 18 I am 5ft2, dark frizzy hair, ginormous bosoms and thighs, I walk like an elephant swaying left to right because it's uncomfortable to have my ginormous thighs rub against each other, they give a rash and it can be unpleasant.
My last manicure was in 1995, I eat carbs like a rugby plater and I too have an issue with the dentist, we fell out on the year of the elephant.
Nass Mlah is all I got!
WORD!
Yours eternally Dz-Chick
Ps: I shop at Evans, 18+
DZC
ReplyDeleteI have not said you are not nass mlah, please don't misquote me, neither I desire for you to call me naive because it is not very polite to do so.
ATO
Calling you naive is not very polite, ergo, I am not that Ness Mlah
ReplyDeleteATO you appear to have a sense of humour failure today mate! There must be a reset button somewhere!
Mwah
@ Dz-Chick,
ReplyDeleteThough you might be constructed in the manner of a pyramid I still don't find you physically appealing. The Dz-Chickian Mouth however is entirely a different matter.
The sexiest thing on earth is the human mind. It all begins and ends there, not in the physical. Till you understand that it is mental instead of physical you are incomplete as a 250-pound high-cholesterol thing.
Keep posting your poetry. For I'm a romantic at heart, and good poetry can lift me to heights beyond the gods in loving.
Admit that you would be anxiously longing to read an ODE in your honor (your intelligence and discernment, for instance like what Antony did for Cleopatra) composed by yours truly instead of stuff everyone but you will just give a hearty laugh to.
Well...I might consider stitching one together, but YOU NEED TO SUPPLY A REASON first, and I will gladly immortalize you and your wisdom on the pages of your own blog!
Until now you've been diligently striving to induce me into doing exactly the opposite. You have learned no lessons and continue to "step on the same rake", so to speak.
I am a prolific rhymer and my inspiration has been generously fed by your latest actions, so you may imminently expect miscellaneous surprises lavishly scattered among your upcoming communiques.
You know what? Too bad you're living in London. If you lived closed to me (which would be like a fine new restaurant opening up)and were a PRETTY LADY of my liking, I would've invited you out to a cup of coffee and we would negotiate ways I could have mercy on you and let you run away unscathed (not exactly away, I mean, somewhere in the direction of my boudoir, I should say).
It's still negotiable per e-mail though, so we could try to beget another case when initial hostility ends up an insane love passion.
Nonetheless, I reiterate: rest assured, Dz-Chick, that I will use the first available opportunity to post a serenade, a psalm, a hymn of praise, even, to your address GIVEN ANY SLIGHTEST JUSTIFICATION for doing so. Until now my eulogistically-oriented enthusiasm, unlike a drive for derisive drumming, has betrayed no signs of tuning up in your direction, I'm afraid...
You know who,
Your ever-twisted admirer,
connoisseur of wines and degustator of women
DZC
ReplyDeletePlease don't make it explicit it is better if humour each other without abruptly bailing out (FAILING) with the execuse that the other side is not not playing.
Mwah (my kiss is much more worthy if what you claim about your teeth is correct)
Have a good weekend honey!
ATO
what's this ness mlah thing you's talking bout? are you the loch ness monstèh?
ReplyDeleteYou know who I really don’t by the way….
ReplyDeleteI am glad you came to your senses and declared your undying love for me, holding back was useless
I am touched by your incoherent, quite obviously drunken, yet endearing comment, though; I am eager to read the ode you promise, might publish it if it’s worthy of my greatness
You have my mail
ATO You mean you refuse my pearly white Mwah? Fine I’ll take it somewhere else where it’s wanted
Dawood No you is the Monsteh
Have you asked your Algerian freiiiiiiind what Nass Mlah means? :)
ATO, Dawood & co
ReplyDeleteLo, you all, low and ignoble vulgars!
Milady Dz-Chick shall be but mine!
I shall perpetrate rapture of this heavenly creature and incarcerate her in the tallest tower of my castle, re-nominate her to Dulcinea la Bella, append a Chastity Belt about her loins and she will stay seated there weaving goblins as she patiently awaits her Master, Noble Knight Baron de Hydreux back from a couple of bloody feudal encounters with Duke of Buckingham, Count Dracula and Baron Von Munchhausen.
Any "Don Quixote" who would dare to even think about taking advantage of the "husband away" situation will be beheaded mercilessly with my mighty two-edged sword (roasted in my Iron Maiden, quartered, or impaled -- I haven't decided yet)!
You have been warned, wretched villeins!
You Know who
Baron de Hydreux
Connoisseur of Wines and Degustator of Ladies
Dear Dz_Chick,
ReplyDeleteYes, I want to be your lover. Because:
1. I live in Monte Carlo and you could trade your wretched London for the French Riviera. I'm
listening to the gentle caress of the waves upon the beauty-filled beach as I'm writing this. Its such a lovely view. There are Millions of visitors each year to our fair clime. Some 80% are cute things in various stages of undress. They claim its the heat that makes them shed their clothes. But I know its the devil directing them to be themselves. Too, the cuisine is out of this world.
2. I'm a well-off person, so you could regularly have nightclub and casino fiestas
3. I'm not a very handsome man, you will hardly fall in love with me, so you, having used me as a springboard to settle down in Monte Carlo, will further lightheartedly jump on to mate with another male Riviera-resident grasshopper
Before we go any further, and even before I find your picture in my mailbox, I want to make everything crystal clear:
1. For all those juicy benefits you will enjoy, you shall not fail to be kindly requested "little somethings" in return.
Free cheese sticks out of mousetraps ONLY, you know... Everything's got its price or a price equivalent.
2. I know I'm going to daunt your spirits a bit now, but I; having my scruples and principles one of which is to start speaking the truth, only the truth, and nothing but the truth from the very beginning to avoid subsequent highly unpleasant misunderstandings; hereby make sure you are perfectly aware and fully realize that
2a) you shall in NO case and under NO circumstance or occasion be granted a monthly allowance EXCEEDING that of 20,000 (twenty thousand Euros a month).
I know it's tough, I know it may be offensive, but that's a dead and certain fact and you'll have to live with it. Many women prior to you have attempted to question this stone-firm truth and paid dearly for it.
I just don't see any necessity in a combined monthly purchase of 3 Versace or Valentino or Gucci ball gowns, 2 Tiffany diamond rings, 2 Cartier necklaces, a bunch of miscellaneous junk (i.e. antique knick-knacks like a 15-centure gilded statuette of Buddha) and a new 60,000 Euros Q7!
That's bullshit! You will have to tighten your belt and learn how to be prudent and save money!
2b)You must, again, fully realize that I'm a man who is used to live at full sway, swing and throttle. Which certainly includes getting laid any woman I want any moment I want to get her laid. I shall NOT tolerate such filth and horseshit as jealousy, oversensitivity, and inferiority in the lady standing by my side! The resulting shame and disgrace the woman brings upon herself is automatically transmitted onto my person and spotless reputation as an Honorable Member of many a respectable High Society Gentleman's Club and Fellowship.
2c) I shall NEVER hear questions posed to me like: "Where are you going?", "When will you be back?", "Why are you doing this to me?!"
This also applies to negative emotionality : outbursts of anger, tears, hysterics, homesickness ARE ABSOLUTELY BANNED!!! Period!!!
Once these basic prerequisites are met (and I have irrefutable evidence thereof!) we can safely proceed further to step two: getting your photo into my mailbox.
MOST SINCERELY,
You know who
Baron de Hydreux
ReplyDeleteYou call this an Ode?
Your conditions of "love" are ludicrous and I reject them.
Good day!
My dearest Chica,
ReplyDeleteIt has just dawned upon me that I may have been inopportunely intrusive, indiscreet and too hasty jumping over to the issues of intimate relationship, living together, and common budget.
And here I am -- hurling my indecent liaison proposals, impudently poking into your privacy, apparently overindulging in close-relationship advances, in a word -- imposing myself and my more than "friend-to-friend" auspices on you whilst all you may actually be looking for -- is striking a couple or two of casual friendships with NO obligations assumed by either party.
If any offense taken or misunderstandings caused, I would like to deeply and sincerely apologize. I would, however, appreciate your clarification of the subject, explaining your geniune intent and outlook.
Maybe, my fears and concerns are misconstrued and ungrounded at all, who knows?
Ever your most truly and affectly.
Baron de Hydreux
Connoisseur of Wines and Degustator of Ladies
Baron de(s) Hyd(r)eux,
ReplyDeleteWhat an obnoxious twat, excuse my French.
Get a blow up doll as no woman that has an excess of two brain cells could entertain your offer!
@ Miss Polemique
ReplyDeleteThank you for showing us the level of your intellect. What a misfortune!
For you see, I'm not responsible for the polluted dreams you have, about people you don't know a bit about and yet risk making so far-reaching assumptions that one may suspect you picture your very self-portrait -- because that is what gets reflected in little girl's dreams - their own lives.
Did you cry when you wrote this? You should have cried as you subconsciously described yourself, any psychoanalytic would tell you this.
You're hopeless, Missus. YOU ARE NO FUN!
And for its gravity, this diagnosis rivals the gloom of death itself although it is not something people die of physically. Still, it's a dead serious dysFUNction in your organism. And sadly, it's incurable it seems. With you, at least.
You know who
Baron de Hydreux
Connoisseur of Wines and Degustator of Ladies