Ahhh friends, friends, plenty of friends…
Good friends, shit friends, needy friends, childhood friends, coffee friends, cinema friends, travel friends, work friends, sex friends, drinking friends and finally forced friends.
One day you wake up, after having spent a whole evening with a friend, a substantial amount of money matching what the "friend" wanted to do, you sit there; laugh and talk, all the while feeling a twitch at the back of your mind, but you discount it and continue having a "nice" time.
You continue with this, laughing at unfunny jokes, swallowing and nodding the condescending comments, humouring the know-it-all attitude, the emotional blackmail, the neediness, the blatant use of your time and kindness, but do you say anything? nope....
You continue being a good friend, by good friend I mean a push over, until one day you feel angry and resentful as to why you have to spend a minute more with this so called friend.
How many of you out there, find yourselves badgered into friendships with people who target you because you represent something they aspire to be, or you have something they need, like attention, help, time, love or simply financial gain and popularity.
I now know, all it takes is to say NO.
Yallah – al abarani barra as my dad says
Dz-Chick ….in a cleaning mood!
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Yallah = come on
Al barani barra = The outsiders, out
Good friends, shit friends, needy friends, childhood friends, coffee friends, cinema friends, travel friends, work friends, sex friends, drinking friends and finally forced friends.
One day you wake up, after having spent a whole evening with a friend, a substantial amount of money matching what the "friend" wanted to do, you sit there; laugh and talk, all the while feeling a twitch at the back of your mind, but you discount it and continue having a "nice" time.
You continue with this, laughing at unfunny jokes, swallowing and nodding the condescending comments, humouring the know-it-all attitude, the emotional blackmail, the neediness, the blatant use of your time and kindness, but do you say anything? nope....
You continue being a good friend, by good friend I mean a push over, until one day you feel angry and resentful as to why you have to spend a minute more with this so called friend.
How many of you out there, find yourselves badgered into friendships with people who target you because you represent something they aspire to be, or you have something they need, like attention, help, time, love or simply financial gain and popularity.
You know how the saying goes; you can’t choose your family,Well then I am well bloody going to choose my friends, and since I am not 15, friendships don’t tend to form overnight and despite you having my phone number or address, knowing my birthday or my favourite meal doesn’t make you my friend unless I allow access…FROM NOW ON I mean.
I now know, all it takes is to say NO.
Yallah – al abarani barra as my dad says
Dz-Chick ….in a cleaning mood!
--------
Yallah = come on
Al barani barra = The outsiders, out
"H'na fi h'na ou al barani yessameh'na"... I'm sure
ReplyDeleteyour dad is an algerian badass..
Lol he probably was and I think he still is!
ReplyDeleteOMG!! I feel like this post is about me! I know exactly where you are comming from! J x
ReplyDeleteA lot of people will recognise themselves in this post and feel its about them, except for the needy friend who is going to call enquire 'are you ok babe?'
ReplyDeleteIt's time to dump them J x
Ps: I can't sleep
ReplyDeleteFriendship ? Ca existe ça ?
ReplyDeleteCa ne faisait pas, genre, 3 mois, que tu devais écrire cet article ? :-)
Family + friends = Mom & Dad
w'lbarani bara!
I’ve been doing this for quite a while (Not letting ppl imposing their friendship on me) I ’m rude? Absolutely Not - it saves me time and it’s better that way! No one needs countless friends.
ReplyDelete“Live…Laugh…Love” with the friends you choose :)
Dz-Chick in a grey mood...al hourmounate are back again or what lady?
ReplyDeleteMeh like I wanna be your friend anyway. I'm just using you as a milk lady HA
ReplyDeleteS Rare oui mais en tout cas l'amour en amitié n'est pas inconditionnelle, et oui t'as raison...je devais écrire cet article y a longtemps mais j'ai bien appris ma leçon maintenant! lebrani berra
ReplyDeleteBlue you're a braver girl than I am...But I have learnt my lessons the hard way...always! i find i prefer it this way :)
Dz-cheich Hormones ....ALWAYS, but yonamare jonimare...allez...elbarani berra
Anonymous lol If I deliver milk, I usually expect some action...or is it the other way around? Meh...
You reminded me of the milk-man with his electric car droping milk at 4 am....when i was trying to sleep after working late ....ya hassrah...old good time ! hahahaha
ReplyDeleteI made the same decision a few years back (i.e. the circle of people called 'friends' actually have to be qualified, likeable, good people friends). Lost contact with the takers, users and abusers. Tried to find or re-find those who weren't.
ReplyDeleteBest thing I ever did.
Totally identify! Out with the blood suckers!
ReplyDeletedz-cheikh I never had my mild delivered! i DON'T trust milkmen! and btw you can't sign DZC that's mine ;)
ReplyDeleteformosa So everybody does it, not just me, I thought i was being severe or getting old...
Anonymous Blood suckers, yeah that's a good one! energy vampires is also relevant, don't you just feel drained after a forced friendship session?
it depends on persons ans personalities, there are persons that remember their friends especially if they spent harship together in the past ( ex: war time, military srvices) . they asked a bull: anwa i d gmakh? He answered: d wine akoud arwigh amdhegar
ReplyDeleteHi Lyl: is that a proverb in Kabyl?
ReplyDeleteI agree friendships are strengthened through certain experiences but am talking about forced friends! :)
breaking tker3éje
ReplyDeleteFifi zyeuverre a acheté une BMW classe one (Année 2010, kilométrage : 25000Km, Safya) au lieu D'une Audi A3 S-Ligne.
-Fifi zyeuverre " ma3liche, mhamssa walla charre"
Zigabotta de ka3 sour