Inspiration eludes me, I feel jaded, I try to write but nothing remotely inspired or funny comes out, I hate my keyboard, it’s filthy, I spend a good 20 mins cleaning it with one of those air-spray thingies, it gives me frost bite, I can’t sepll, I have to use a spellchecker, I debate with my colleague on how to spell warehouse, I tell her she is a vacuous blonde, she laughs…see??
A videoconference meeting at 3pm, I refuse to attend, I prefer to dial in because I have a suave voice and I somehow look fat on screen, apparently the camera adds at least 2 kg on you, 5kg with bad quality cameras like the ones we have here, so I dial in and don’t listen to the call.
PMS is getting much better, since I have been taking those Magnesium supplements, soon I will be able to control metal like Magneto and rule the world.
Weight is under control, love life deserted, work eeeehhhhh
I want to go home (Algeria) and eat temina with my dad, and explain to my worried mum who is too scared to tell me she wants to see me happily married, that if there was a man, I would be with him, but alas, I seem to drive them away, must be that curse! Have to do something about that.
I try to reassure my mother: a woman needs a man like a shark needs vegetables, I stop and wait for her to understand, she laughs nervously, and then I withdraw my statement and explain that I was joking and that I want a man in my life like I want many other things, e.g. a Porsche, but what wants doesn’t get, apparently I have to need the man to find him. Frankly who has the time!
Glad it’s raining today, a good excuse to go home (London home), sit on sofa, watch CSI, make some long distance phone calls and eat chocolate.
YES I AM BORED RIGID.
A videoconference meeting at 3pm, I refuse to attend, I prefer to dial in because I have a suave voice and I somehow look fat on screen, apparently the camera adds at least 2 kg on you, 5kg with bad quality cameras like the ones we have here, so I dial in and don’t listen to the call.
PMS is getting much better, since I have been taking those Magnesium supplements, soon I will be able to control metal like Magneto and rule the world.
Weight is under control, love life deserted, work eeeehhhhh
I want to go home (Algeria) and eat temina with my dad, and explain to my worried mum who is too scared to tell me she wants to see me happily married, that if there was a man, I would be with him, but alas, I seem to drive them away, must be that curse! Have to do something about that.
I try to reassure my mother: a woman needs a man like a shark needs vegetables, I stop and wait for her to understand, she laughs nervously, and then I withdraw my statement and explain that I was joking and that I want a man in my life like I want many other things, e.g. a Porsche, but what wants doesn’t get, apparently I have to need the man to find him. Frankly who has the time!
Glad it’s raining today, a good excuse to go home (London home), sit on sofa, watch CSI, make some long distance phone calls and eat chocolate.
YES I AM BORED RIGID.
you are funny. i don't mean that you're funny in a funny way. you're just funny. in a vulnerable way ;) .
ReplyDeletewhat's a suave voice btw?
and what about iron pills?
LOL, love it.. I am on evening primose for PMS, they seem to help :D but not great deal might give Mg tabs a shot...ur mum sounds like my mum for gods sake..grrr...
ReplyDelete@ TDW, really iron tabs are for something else :D
xxx
@ TDW: Suave, charming, charismatic I don't know...Beautiful!!
ReplyDelete@ Haniya: Primrose Oil have a lot of calories I hear!
xx
Maybe it's not so much PMS but London's weather that gets into you.
ReplyDeleteYou need that sunny and blue sky you're born under.
@DZC: ou la laaa! maybe you should have a spoken word version of your next post :p . here's an idea.
ReplyDelete@Haniya: what are Iron tabs for?
I just came back from holidays and it's been sunny lately so it's not the weather, I am pretty sure I am just homesick! Je soufre de Nostalgerie.
ReplyDelete@TDW: I could do, but a lot of my friends read this blog but don't know it's me, so that would be a dead give away! no can do Dawood sorry!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous has a point, the lack of light has an effect on us it seems albeit not on a conscious level.
ReplyDeleteobviously, you could also be homesick on top of that.
lol @ your friends; am gonna refrain from commenting on that :p - fair enough though. an even better idea would be your voice masqueraded as a robotic voice reading the post, like a female dalek if you've ever watched dr who.
lol you are weird TDW! yeah a female Dalek would be so funny! what's so funny abt the friends comment!
ReplyDeletei know, that's my charm.
ReplyDeletehow can they not recognise you? thank God we're not friends :p
I guess they're not good friends! my close friends ALL know obviously! SOOO You don't want to be my friend? pffff
ReplyDeleteAnonymous (another one!) and TDW bring up an interesting point. You could just take vitamin D supplement for a while and see if it helps and then write a post about your experience, LOL!
ReplyDeleteSee, we care about you DZ-Chick... :)
I am also taking multi-vitamins! the result is outstanding!
ReplyDeleteAwww my virtual friends who care about me, how sweet!
Merci Allison xx
"I could do, but a lot of my friends read this blog but don't know it's me"
ReplyDelete- That must be very funny. Why don't you write a post about that too, without giving much details?
Or is it impossible without revealing your identity?
Some of these people have actually commented on the blog, not sure if they know it's me really since they never mentioned it, but I recognise them and their writing/thinking. would be funny but tricky!! Careful approach needed, will draft something and see what come out! I will load up on the Magnesium for more inspiration ;)
ReplyDeleteDo you write Allison?
"but I recognise them and their writing/thinking."
ReplyDeleteReally? Hmmm... But you can't be 100% sure it's them, though, right?
"Do you write Allison?"
Not really, don't have time (or maybe it's just an excuse).
But I know it's a good catharsis.
It is definitely good catharsis, I always feel cleansed when I write something. You should try! Time has nothing to do with it, stop procrastinating and let us read one of your stories/pieces/bites :)
ReplyDeleteYes I am 90% sure it's them.
"a woman needs a man like a shark needs vegetables "
ReplyDeleteThis is not a joke ,
Algerian women think really like that !! lOl
Men have to take care about it cause if they want to marry them ,
they will have to get diamomds lOl !!
Well Bruno, sharks don't need vergetables!! ;)
ReplyDelete@Allison: you're so curieuse (in a good way):p , maybe you and DZC know each other and you're trying to confirm your suspicions lol.
ReplyDelete@DZc: oops ;) . if we were friends, i would most definitely recognise you, i think :D .
@ TDW: Not only would you recognise me, if you met me for 5 mins you'd know I was DZ-Chick!!
ReplyDeletebetter never meet then :p
ReplyDelete@Tdw : Not a single chance we know each other, alas... :)
ReplyDeleteYou're right on one count though : I'm very "curieuse", intellectually that is... and I like funny situations like the one she describes (knowing people reading your blog without recognizing that it is you).
oh yeah definitely i can see the amusement in that.
ReplyDeletethe follow-on question would be: how did they find out about the blog? if through google, that would be quite interesting i.e. that quite a few people actually google random things, which is an interesting factoid ...
i also wonder if anyone i know comments on here although i doubt it but who knows.
Interesting Poll:
ReplyDeleteHow did you find out about the blog?
1) Friend
2) Google, if yes what key words?
3) You know the Dz-Chick
4) Other, details pls
4) I read regularly El Watan and a few months ago there was a snippet featuring the blog Vie Algeroise. So, I started reading that blog and a guy (or a gal) there talked about DZ-Chick blog, which led me here. Actually, he/she was saying that both blogs were similar which I couldn't disagree more. They're totally and very different but equally fun! Again LOL!
ReplyDeleteYeah that's how I discovred Mina's blog as well, somebody mentioned mine to her! Both blogs deal with Algerian society in general, but are TOTALLY different, but Mina and I are on the same cloud.
ReplyDelete@TDW : Yeah, reminds me of that six degrees of separation theory that says we are all linked six steps away to anyone else...
ReplyDelete3) Obviously
ReplyDeleteRIIIIIIIGHT
ReplyDeleteI know who you are but do you know who I am, that is the question! :)
ReplyDeleteFor the poll: 1.
A friend (also your friend) told me about it, but we both remained anonymous readers. It's much more fun. :)
Ahhh here come the anoynmousES!!!
ReplyDeleteIt is much more fun and I am INTRIGUED! well done! ;)
I need to add that the blog was discovered by chance when browsing algerian blogs, and after a couple of reads we thought it might be you, so it was interesting to figure it out, and with time (a few weeks) our suspicions were confirmed and we became 102% sure it is you. :)
ReplyDeleteI knew I should never have posted that Africa story! it was too obvious especialy for people on my Facebook!! oh well :)
ReplyDeleteawkwarrrrrrrd
ReplyDeleteOooppsss... Oh well, I'm sure 99,99% of them are good people that wish you well
ReplyDeleteLoooooooots of things were give aways! :)
ReplyDeleteso, Allison you're sure you don't know her now?
ReplyDelete@Anonymous who knows me! I don't mind when it's my friends or their friends as long as they keep it themselves! It spoils things otherwise! But I give you that, there are lots of giveaways yes for someone who knows me even remotely.
ReplyDelete@ TDW: LOL@ Awwwwkward! You’re a nightmare
@TDW : Yep, 150%. It's just impossible we know each other.
ReplyDeleteWell, me no tell anyone! I promise. :)
ReplyDelete@Allison: cool.
ReplyDelete@DZC: mskeena :p don't worry, miss anonymous who knows you and her friend seem to be nice.
@ TDW: I don't know who is this DZ friend of yours teaching you Meskina! but I don't like it! :p
ReplyDeleteHow do you know the 2 Anonymouses are female!!
ahahah well you could teach me others :p i know quite a few words, i just don't use them much here. a lot of them are insults as well.
ReplyDeletecan't you tell? i have a feeling they're girls, just ask them.
You ask them!
ReplyDeleteI think I posted enough Algerian in this blog for you to start paying me... ;)
i think I posted enough in this blog for me to start charging you :p
ReplyDeleteand i normally get my algerian lessons in person ;) .
Big gob haven't you! :P
ReplyDeletewhat can i say? je suis en forme lol.
ReplyDeleteFor the Poll I don't remember but I probably was googling someting like 'Algerian girls in London', back in the days when I was giving Algerian girls a chance.
ReplyDeleteHow do I know you?
I guessed and I got it right first time, it is strange but you turned out to be the one, even though I don't know you personally. The story of how I know of you is one of the most interesting ones in this blog ;)
Anonymous (the real one)
P.s Sorry for the long absence causing confusion and suspicions
Most interesting story here? care to share it with us Anonymous? I am intrigued indeed! you must know be a friend of my ne of my friends of something! maybe you met me and then they told you she write a blog! is that about it? :P
ReplyDeleteFrom yout comment, I take it you gave you on Algerian girls now!
J ecris comme un taree!! sorry about that!
ReplyDeleteDropped few hints here and there, sometimes too much. I am sure you know who I am, you just can't be sure for technical reasons.
ReplyDeleteWe have no friend in common. We could do though but that is not how I came to know of you.
Anyways Nothing to worry about I know very little about you and nothing bad, most of what I know was from reading this blog.
Did I not say it is one of the most interesting stories?
Anonymous
Roht 3and al guezzana? :)
ReplyDeleteInteresting indeed!
la revolución des revelaciones - too bad i have nothing to reveal to join in the fun.
ReplyDeleteMy spy skills (not staking skills) rather and the ability to connet the dots.
ReplyDeleteJust in case you are in doubt, My legs are hurting right now because of something.
Anonymous
I don't know anyone who ran the London Marathon this year, well maybe one guy but he probably doesn't even know about this blog! besides he's a friend and you said we don't know eachother, Soooo
ReplyDeleteOh did you break your leg recently? damn I am really not good at this guessing game! more clues please...
at this rate, i will probably figure out who Anonymous (the real) is before you ...
ReplyDelete@TDW: Let's team up to find out who Anonymous (the real one) is!
ReplyDeletehis legs hurt coz he went for a run in the morning lol.
ReplyDeleteOr he was at the ONB gig and he now has pain in his legs from all the dancing!? I don't know I am trying!!
ReplyDeleteno, that would be you
ReplyDeleteDz Chick you are so cool....
ReplyDeleteThanks SouSou!
ReplyDeleteCalm down DZC
ReplyDeleteTDW dropped a scary hint before.
Because of that I know TDW knows who DZC is.
Only he missed (or delibrately left out) the second part.
Anonymous (Always, and sobering up)
perhaps we know each other as well Anonymous? lolol
ReplyDeleteJust so we're clear! TDW is not Algerian.
ReplyDeleteI know I don't know either of you TDW or Anonymous, or at least if I do, then you've hidden it very well.
I don't think either of you really know me either :P
i know you, you're a friend of my cousin - just kidding.
ReplyDeleteand through you, i know Anonymous as well lol
ReplyDeleteHas there been a secret blog meeting behind my back?
ReplyDeleteHello , I don't know TDW
ReplyDeleteAnyways guys, got a massive headache.
Hope it goes away
Anonymous
@ Anonymous (the real one) that's not a headache hon, that's the one too many beers syndrome!
ReplyDeleteHope it getts better! Mine has passed
Thanks!
ReplyDeleteWeash thebbi elmektoob.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPn2Xdr6_Xs
Anonymous
no1 knows me but i know every1 hihihi
ReplyDeletei got a headache and blurry vision from poppers
ReplyDeleteTDW
ReplyDeleteBy knowing I mean having proof who someone is.
I have not connected your dots yet
But be sure Project TDW is well underway and is almost complete.
:)
Anonymous
cool cool. i don't really have any dots so it might be hard to connect them ;-).
ReplyDeleteLol
ReplyDeleteDon't underestimate my linking skills :-)
If in doubt, ask 77 (or 34). He will be able to tell what flowers can do ;)
Sorry don't mean to sound like a Maniac
Anonymous
77 or 34? is that in decimal format?
ReplyDeleteto be brootally honest, there is nothing to link so am not sure how successful you're gonna be ;) .
hahahhaha...guys ur so much fun...@ Anonymous...3andi ch7al i didnt listen to this song loool....staifi wela khaliya?!?!
ReplyDeletebzzzz
@TDW
ReplyDeleteAnd currently there is no budget for Project TDW lol
@Haniya
Yes, sad Staifi music, fits well with the hangover guilt.
By the end of the week, the horns will have grown anew again, wesh thebbi
Elghorba elli 3mletha bia
Anonymous
Good timing Anonymous le vrai ;) . during hard times, matters at hand must be prioritised and am certainly not one of them, well i shouldn't be anyway :P .
ReplyDeleteI thank God that my mother never push me to get married ..but our damn society do it everyday
ReplyDelete:D I know that you know that he or she knows and finally nobody knows nobody
ps: like your blog and JVA brought me here, agree it's different but quite as funny
Cheers Isis.
ReplyDeleteWell welcome to Dz-Chick land.
As long as this is not french land it's an honor to be welcomed on yours
ReplyDeleteI think that this article is brilliant, it has a taste of Dejas vue ;)
ReplyDeleteDeja vu...deja vécu!
ReplyDeleteThursday cannot be dull DZ-Chick as this poetic sister has written: 'Thursday is like a cool chick, everybody loves a Thursday, she wears a skirt above the knee and has a lot of charisma, is playful and inviting, she tells you to “come out to play” and you would often oblige, she is relentless'.
ReplyDeleteOn a serious note, you ought to consider doing stand up comedy. I will be the first to book a ticket on your first event, even before your mother gets to it. Talking about your amazing mother (she has to be amazing as the apple doesn't fall far from the tree et que les chiens ne font pas des chats), telling her that 'a woman needs a man like a shark needs vegetables' is pure genius, what a great and accurate statement. MDR
A woman should want a man, if she needs a man it highlights deficiencies within herself which is very unhealthy for any relationship.
So the camera adds 2kg on you and 5kg if the camera is of bad quality?! LOL I is loving this Miss suave voice, conclusions reached in conclusion of intensive research no doubt!
Porsches are overrated, nothing beats British classic cars such as the Bentleys, Aston Martins, Jaguars and the Roll Royces.