Back in London...

After what seems to be an eternity spent in the seaside city of doom, I am finally back in London where I feel I belong. I have landed my old job back in the City and moved into a new area of London I hadn’t experienced before and all feels well, almost as though I never left.

The past year has been without a doubt the most testing of my whole life, in fact it was my own military service, I dived into a completely different place, different industry and I gave it my all, but the social isolation and working environment got the better of me. I did not in any way give up, I fought very hard not to throw in the towels but I reached a point where if I had stayed I would be loosing my mind, dignity, integrity and all that I stand for.

I am very proud of my achievement, resilience and willpower, I always believed that I was a strong person, but I think that this time I even surprised myself with how much I could take on, the challenge being what it was overwhelmed me, I was consumed by the challenge itself and delayed my departure until I thought I made a difference, not realising the stress and mental abuse was taking its tole on my mental health and consequently physical health. Upon leaving I felt like a prisoner who had been released, lost my confidence, put on a lot of weight due to stress related eating disorder (well I say disorder - I just scoffed on a lot of ice-cream for comfort), I became Über sensitive to all comments, critics or sometimes even compliments made me weep.

I am a naturally forgiving person, but you cannot forgive until you heal, so I am nurturing my wounds, started by getting my fitness back, feel good about my physical appearance, seek professional help if needed and lets face it IS needed, anyone reading my blogs can tell I am a bit neurotic.

So I am back in London, my take on life has changed, my priorities have shifted and my goals have been altered, maybe this is growing up...or maybe this is just part of life, either way my mind is clear and I know where I am heading…Until the next time they change.